hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Randomize
