I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
