my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
My liver just had a heart attack.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
