I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
i now understand why vodka
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
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