guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Randomize