There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
