just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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