People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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