Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
where am i from again
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
The struggles of a small town man whore
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize
