After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Gay?
German.
Pity.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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