i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Randomize
