He felt like a one man threesome
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
