He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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