respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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