He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
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