I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
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