sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Randomize
