i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
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