He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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