I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
