just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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