i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize