I'm gonna have a badass scar
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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