When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
you never un-have a 4some
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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