Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I cannot find my penis.
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
