How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
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