Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
