One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
