you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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