i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
