Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
