Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
