I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
