STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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