and next time when you feel me up, do it right
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
