I saw his package. It spoke to me.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
