the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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