he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
ugly people sure do ruin things
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
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