Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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