My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize