I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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