i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
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