I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
