Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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