When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Randomize