Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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