i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Randomize
