Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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