Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
