Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
