The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
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