weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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