TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I just had sex on a roof
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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