Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
