Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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