also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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