i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
