my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
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