thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
