Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
