I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
