just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
